


Every Sacrifice

by IsleofCrete



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alexander made mistakes, And Angelica and John call him out on it, Angelica roasts Hamilton, Canon Era, Congratulations, Essentially it's a songfic, F/M, Ghost John Laurens, Heartbreak, M/M, Post-Reynolds Pamphlet, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 02:04:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17112389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsleofCrete/pseuds/IsleofCrete
Summary: Alexander made the biggest mistake of his life. He expected people to make sure he knew that; after all, his wife was burning his letters downstairs. The others, though, he didn't think he could ever be ready for who else came after him. It just wasn't possible.





	Every Sacrifice

**Author's Note:**

> Listen to Congratulations before you read this. Otherwise, it will make no sense. 
> 
> Words in italics are words said together. Normal text within italics text mark when something is said that both people don't say. Normal text words separated by / show changes in words being said, but still at the same time.
> 
> Enjoy!

Angelica Schuyler was back. Hamilton slumped as she stormed into his office. He had just ruined everyone’s life, including that of Angelica’s sister, his wife, Eliza. Of course she would be here.

Eliza’s words rang through his head as Angelica stared angrily at him. “ _I know about whispers. I see how you look at my sister. . ._ ” What a fool he had been. But he didn’t think she could say much that hadn’t already been said. If he could stand Jefferson, Madison, and Burr verbally attacking him the moment the pamphlet broke, then he could stand this.

Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he caught a glimmer of something. It must have been the smoke and tears in his eyes. Eliza was still downstairs, where Angelica had just come from. He just wished Eliza wouldn’t throw away her legacy.

“Angelica,”

“Alexander.”

“ _Alexander._ ”

Hamilton’s head snapped up. There was Angelica, her dark, rich hair up sloppily, so uncharacteristic of her, and pink dress all rumpled. What looked like tear stains adorned her shoulders. He looked up and saw the cursed pamphlet in her hand. And to her right?

His brain stopped dead. No. There was no possible way that John Laurens was standing before him. His heart ached as he remembered his friend’s death. It had been over ten years ago and Hamilton couldn’t believe that he’d let himself forget.

Yet, here was Laurens, a man he had once called his love, shimmering in the ghostly candlelight. The coat that they all wore in the Revolution, the one that now sat in a box in a closet in their house, was now white, but showed not a stain.

As Angelica marched forward, so did Laurens, becoming less transparent with every step. Angelica didn’t notice the added figure in the room.

“ _Congratulations. You have invented a new kind of stupid. A ‘damage you can never undo’ kind of stupid._ ”

Laurens’s voice intertwined with Angelica’s. She took the pamphlet and shoved it into Hamilton’s chest as Laurens looked on. There was less anger in his expression; sadness and disappointment adorned his freckles.

“ _An ‘open all the cages in the zoo’ kind of stupid. ‘Truly, you didn’t think this through?’ kind of stupid._ ”

Angelica did not hesitate to get right up in Hamilton’s face, forcing him back to his desk. Laurens kept back, but never broke eye contact with Hamilton. He simply crossed his arms and stared at Hamilton, whose eyes were now starting to tear up.

“ _Let’s review,_ ”

Angelica turned to the side, but kept one eye on Hamilton. Laurens backed up and started to pace.

“ _You took a rumor a few, maybe two, people knew and refuted by sharing an affair of which no one has accused you!_ ”

She began to count off on her fingers, while Laurens simply clenched his fists in frustration.

“ _I_ /she/ _begged you to take a break, you refused to!_ ”

Angelica turned quickly to face Hamilton, who flinched at Angelica’s shouting. Laurens seemed more puzzled than angry, but his voice still cut deep.

“ _So scared of what your enemies will do to you. You’re the only enemy you ever seem to loose to!_ ”

Laurens stopped his pacing, while Angelica assumed the actions he had just been doing. Laurens crossed his arms and stood nearly out of Hamilton’s direct line of sight, slight disappointment lacing his voice. Angelica’s voice only rose in volume as her anger grew.

“ _You know why Jefferson can do what he wants? He doesn’t dignify school-yard taunts with a response!_ ”

Now Angelica got right into Hamilton’s face and shouted. He cowered back from her and into his desk, shoving some of his papers on the ground in the process. Laurens glared at him from across the room.

Hamilton wondered how much Laurens even knew of the current situation, or if he was even real.

“ _So yeah, congratulations!_ ”

“Angelica,” he spoke softly, trying to calm her down. He should’ve known better. This was his sister-in-law. The one who came all the way from London to be there for her sister.

“ _You’ve redefined your legacy, congratulations._ ”

Angelica quickly shoved him in the shoulders before turning and walking swiftly away from Hamilton. Laurens threw up his hands before slowly beginning to approach Hamilton.

“It was an act of political sacrifice!” He had to make her, both of them understand why he’d done what he’d did. They needed to know. He couldn’t bear to look up at them as he spoke. A part of him knew it was pointless to reason with Angelica at this point. He barely kept the sob from his voice, but tears began to drip down his face.

The tears were more on the part of Laurens’s presence and what Eliza was doing downstairs. Angelica either didn’t notice them or couldn’t find the pity to care.

“ _Sacrifice?_ ”

Angelica froze. She turned slowly to face Hamilton, leaning on the desk, with his head in his hands. He glanced up and the expressions of Angelica and Laurens, two people he loved so dearly, broke him to pieces.

Angelica’s face was void of emotion before regret filled her eyes. Laurens’s freckled face simply begged to know why. And how could he dare make such statements when Laurens had sacrificed his very life for a cause they both believed in.

“ _I languished in a loveless marriage_ in London, _I lived only to read your letters. I look back at you and think ‘God, what have we done with our lives and what did it get us?_ ”

Angelica closed her eyes and looked down. She forced a smile onto her lips, but it was full of hopelessness. Laurens grabbed his arm and shifted his gaze away from Hamilton.

“ _That doesn’t wipe the tears or the years away, but I’m back in the city_ and I’m here to stay. _And do you know what I’m here to do?_ ”

Angelica swiped at her eyes and looked up at him with a look that was almost kind. Laurens’s expression could nearly be called sympathetic, but that tint of anger was still there, as was the same with Angelica’s gaze.

“Angelica,” Hamilton reached out an arm to try and comfort her. He wanted to reach out to Laurens, but he stopped himself. Angelica let her wrist be grabbed. Laurens slowly approached and got closer to Hamilton than he’d been so far. Hamilton breathed in, hoping to have some comfort in Laurens’s scent, but he only smelled the wind and the fire from downstairs. Not a comforting smell at all.

“I’m not here for you,”

Angelica stared directly into Hamilton’s eyes before ripping her wrist out of his grasp. He stumbled forward off of the desk. He looked up into Angelica’s steely gaze with his own teary one. Then he glanced at Laurens, who also had the beginnings of tears in his eyes. Hamilton’s jaw dropped and he nearly started openly weeping himself.

“ _I know my sister_ /I know you/ _like I know my own mind_ /but/ _you will never find anyone as trusting or as kind._ ”

Angelica’s words hurt, but nowhere near as much as Laurens’s did. How had he been so blind?

“ _And a million years ago she_ /you/ _said to me ‘this one’s mine.’ So I stood by, do you know why?_ ”

Now tears were beginning to form in Angelica’s eyes as she backed up once more. Regret filled her face and she turned away quickly before whipping back around to shout.

Laurens had placed his hands on the desk, leaning on it for support. His frame shook slightly with silent tears.

“ _I love my sister_ /I loved you/ _more than anything in this life! I will choose her_ /chose your/ _happiness over mine, every time! Eliza!_ ”

Angelica clutched at her chest as if her heart would shatter. Laurens slammed his fist on the table before bringing up his hand to point a finger at Hamilton. He then stood and began to pull at his curls.

“Eliza,” God, what had he done to her? Angelica turned away from him and moved toward the door. Laurens took a step back so he could look Hamilton full in the face.

“ _Is the best thing in our lives_ /your life/ _! So never loose sight of the fact that you have been blessed with the best wife!_ ”

Angelica swung back around and pointed her finger at Hamilton. She quickly brought her hand down in an act of finality. Laurens twisted away from him to hide his pained gaze, but Hamilton saw enough of it.

“ _Congratulations! For the rest of your life, every sacrifice you make is for my_ /her/ _sister give her the best life!_ ”

Angelica shook her head quickly and picked up the pamphlet on the ground before tearing it to pieces.

“ _Congratulations!_ ”

Angelica shouted and slammed the door. Hamilton sunk to the floor, clutching at his hair. He just had to prove to everyone, prove that he was honest. And look at what his honest had gotten him.

“Oh God,” he whispered into the air.

Laurens crouched down in front of Hamilton. His eyes were full of longing and sadness. Hamilton looked up through swollen eyes and hot tears to see him.

“I’m not going to ask you why, Alexander, but you need to know something.”

“Laurens,” Hamilton breathed out. Laurens sat down and reached out to stroke Hamilton’s cheek, but pulled back.

“I can’t stay, but just know, that I’ll always be waiting for you. No matter what, I’ll be there for you in the end.”

“What do you mean?” Hamilton reached out, but Laurens simply pulled out of reach again. Hamilton gasped when he saw bloodstains begin to spread across Laurens’s pristine white coat, right over his chest.

“You made a mess of everything, but I can’t hold that against you. I could never. And I have never stopped loving you.” Laurens began to fade away. Hamilton reached out, only to have his hands pass right through Laurens.

 “Don’t go!” Hamilton cried out. Laurens smiled at him and cupped his cheek. Hamilton only felt coolness.

Laurens vanished and the candle went out. Hamilton was left crying on the floor of his office with a heart that he didn’t think could ever be fixed.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I got this idea and it just refused to leave me alone, so here we are. I just loved the idea and it actually worked really well. Did you catch the First Burn reference? If you haven't heard it, go listen to it, because it is amazing!
> 
> Just a quick note: this one-shot will eventually be used in a Hamilton OC story that I have almost completely planned out. But even when I start posting, I'll keep this work up, because I would probably make some changes to it. I will get around to writing it eventually, but this takes place toward the very end, so it would be awhile before I even got to this point!
> 
> Just so you know, the Hamilton OC story will start to be written once I hit a certain point in Eclipsed, as that point is the end of an arc. So it will be a little bit, but I'm looking forward to writing it!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who reads this and I hope you liked it!


End file.
